finding a balance with food

Lately the Tiny Goddess has been nursing a lot. No, really, A Lot. She'd nurse as much as Miss Mousie if I let her. Many times I have to choose which one to let scream (nursing both at the same times doesn't always work for me, though I do sometimes).

I am trying to shed at least 60 lbs (which would still have me in the "overweight" category according to some). Of course exercise is how I'm going to do it because I can't just stop eating. I am hungry almost all the time. Now, that would be fine except it is hard to watch one's weight when every meal is eating out. (Because of the move and all.)

So I try to pack in the protein for as little calories as possible. Higher protein breakfasts, avoiding lots of white flour and junk, ect.

Here is the kicker, though. I read about what other people eat and am amazed at how they survive on so little. Were I to have a meal like some of these I read about, I'd be faint with hunger half an hour later.

So for now I guess I just need to focus on nutrition and getting enough to eat. Later when I'm in my own kitchen I can figure out how to shed the weight. I think my goal for the next however many days left is to not gain any weight.

And with that, I'm hungry again! I think I'll eat a protein bar (thank goodness for them, I know they aren't a whole food, but they really do help me out) and glug a half gallon of water. (Yes, that's right. I can drink that much water at one sitting.)

It's not so much that I have an eating disorder as much as disordered eating. I'm finding ways to avoid comfort eating (not having snacks around helps, but then I get hungry so I need to have snacks around... you see my issue. Fruit doesn't really help when I crave protein, yet I sometimes overdo it on the nuts.)

The tiny Goddess has lost her shoe and is screaming "Uuuuh-Oh!" at me. Plus she stinks. Protein bar will have to wait.